Passing Moments
by Aylarain
Summary: The 50 themes/1 sentence each challenge from livejournal. First set is Jax/Tara pre-series. New set is Jax/Tara during Season 1.
1. Chapter 1

This is written in the style of the 50 themes, 1 sentence each challenge on livejournal. They are all Tara/Jax pre-series.

#1 Comfort

Sitting alone in her dorm room she pulls his sweatshirt around her and closes her eyes and at least in her mind it still smells of leather, cigarettes, and gasoline.

#2 Kiss

It takes a few years after she leaves Charming to stop reaching up for leather on shoulders and hair she could tangle her fingers into everytime lips touch hers.

#3 Soft

His hands brush up under her shirt and Jax asks her how he is supposed to stop touching her with skin as soft as hers and Tara laughs and tells him she doesn't think that is a problem for her.

#4 Pain

He holds her hand as the needle and ink enter her skin and she has to keep reminding herself that it's worth it, because all she ever wants to be is his.

#5 Potatoes

In the effort of trying something new she manages to convince him to take her to someplace fancy in the city, but the look on his face when they get their food has her promising him they can stop at a diner on the way home.

#10 Ears

Her shirt rode up when she bent over to pick up her pencil in 1st period and the rumors haven't stopped swirling about the brand on her back and it's all Tara can do not to listen.

#11 Name

When she's angry with him she calls him Jackson, but all it does is make him smile and how can she really be mad at him when he looks like that.

#12 Sensual

His fingers skate down her sides and his silky strands caress her skin as he kisses his way down her stomach.

#13 Death

At fifteen she didn't think about the consequences of being with someone that was SAMCRO, but at 18 Tara isn't sure she can visit him in prison and she knows she can't bury him.

#14 Sex

She wasn't his first, but sometimes he tells her that she is the last.

#15 Touch

She traces the new lines on his back and she knows he couldn't be prouder.

#16 Weakness

The acceptance letter comes in the mail and really she should jump for joy and she would if it didn't feel like her knees were gonna fall out from under her.

#17 Tears

She knows that she couldn't stay in Charming and that college is a great opportunity, but that doesn't explain why she wakes up with red, puffy eyes and a wet pillow every morning.

#18 Speed

She clings a little tighter on the curves, but she always hopes he doesn't slow down.

#19 Wind

The first time she got on his bike she was terrified, but it didn't take long before the wind rushing past them and the rumble from the bike drowned out all her fears.

#20 Freedom

He walks out of the police station and as she rushes up to hug him, Tara reminds herself to at least be a little angry with him if not for getting arrested, than at least for missing their date.

#21 Life

She's leaning against his chest as he laughs with Opie and at that moment she hopes the darkness that surrounds SAMCRO will be kept at bay for a little longer.

#22 Jealousy

Maybe it's wrong, but when they walk down the hall and Jax has his hand on the small of her back she can't help but revel in the looks the other girls send their way.

#23 Hands

Her date is a fellow pre-med student and when he reaches across the table for her hand she starts to miss the calluses and grease under the nails from long hours working on a bike.

#24 Taste

It's metallic and coppery as she kisses him but she doesn't care, because while he has a split lip and two black eyes it could have been so much worse.

#25 Devotion

He's standing in front of her telling her has to go for a couple days and he can't tell her why and it's times like these that Tara wonders what would happen if she asked him to choose… and not once has she ever been sure that she would win.

#26 Forever

She remembers being seventeen watching Jax pay the man in the tattoo parlour extra not to ask for ID and there was no question in her mind that she wanted to be marked as his… now at 27 Tara's pretty sure she wasn't wrong.

#27 Blood

It's her first gunshot victim in the ER and it takes Tara a second to shake the image of blood-soaked flannel and blue eyes clenched in pain.

#28 Sickness

Jax is standing in front of her safe and sound, but her skin is still cold and clammy and the nauseous feeling in her stomach won't go away and Tara knows she will never forget how she felt when she saw the fear in Opie's eyes.

#29 Melody

At night, when sleep just won't come, Tara tries to recall the rumble of the bike, him laughing with Opie, the things he whispered in her ear and it's better than any lullaby.

#30 Star

It's been almost ten years, but he is still the leading man in all her dreams.

#31 Home

Looking around her first apartment in Chicago Tara tries to quiet the voice in her head that reminds her of strong arms, pale strands, and the wind rushing past her face.

#32 Confusion

He looks at her with stormy eyes and she tries to explain that he can come too, and it's after Jax starts shaking his head sadly that Tara isn't sure if she wouldn't rather have the anger.

#33 Fear

The relief from her torment finally comes, but as she holds the test she bought three days ago in a drugstore two towns over, her hand starts to shake.

#34 Lightning/Thunder

He's asleep beside her, one arm thrown across her middle, and as she watches the sky light up Tara hopes the turmoil outside won't one day rip them apart.

#35 Bonds

At 25 she wants to finally let go and move on, but that's hard to do when at the same time she hopes he hasn't found anyone else, and yeah, Tara knows what kind of person that makes her.

#36 Market

She knows he never strayed from her, even though his opportunities were numerous, and in some of her dark moments it isn't hard to imagine the girls that lined up as soon as she rode out of town.

#37 Technology

She's watching an aerial map of Charming and while she knows that she can't actually see him, Tara can still imagine his bike winding through those streets.

#38 Gift

He has her whole heart and she kinda wishes that maybe he could have given at least a piece of it back, because now she has nothing left to give.

#39 Smile

As Tara cowers in her bedroom with the newly installed deadbolts firmly locked, she wonders how she missed the darkness in Kohn's eyes and the creepiness of his smile.

#40 Innocence

To be honest, Tara isn't sure that anything all that innocent could come from Gemma and it wouldn't really matter anyway because SAMCRO would take what's left.

#41 Completion

The hospital in Charming has offered her the resident position and she starts to feel like she can breathe again…. but then the thought of seeing Jax steals the breath right back.

#42 Clouds

She's 18 and she can't quite pinpoint when the doubts started rolling in, but she knows the bright, carefree days are gone.

#43 Sky

She isn't afraid of flying, but as the plane climbs higher and higher, Tara ducks into her seat further and further and closes her eyes tighter and tighter.

#44 Heaven

The only thing between her and the dirt is his t-shirt and Jax is moving above her and, yeah, Tara could stay here forever.

#45 Hell

She isn't sure what she believes in, but no matter what he does for the Club she knows he doesn't belong anywhere that has the words "eternal suffering" associated with it.

#46 Sun

It's mercilessly hot in August, but everytime Tara complains Jax is quick to remind her that he fully supports removing clothes…. in the interest of staying cool of course.

#47 Moon

He rolls over next to her and the moonlight shines over his back and she can't help the fear that creeps up her spine everytime she thinks about what that ink means.

#48 Waves

At first, Tara stays in the shallows but it doesn't take long for Jax to beckon her out to deeper water with a wicked grin and a promise that no one will see.

#49 Hair

Her dad doesn't trust a boy with what he calls a woman's haircut, but Tara can't imagine not running her fingers through those golden strands.

#50 Supernova

Tara knows that no one would ever call, but she likes to think that if something ever happened to him, something inside her would have to know that he is gone.

AN: This is the first piece of fanfiction I have ever written and I love SOA and there is just not enough fic out there for it. I know the structure is a little hard to get used to, but I hope you enjoyed.


	2. Chapter 2

Pairing: Jax/Tara

Spoilers: All of Season 1

Warnings: If you watch the show, you can read this

Disclaimers: I don't own anything

Word Count: 1868

Summary: 50 Sentence/1 Theme each challenge from livejournal set Gamma. All Jax/Tara season 1. I suppose I should warn you that run-on sentences and comma abuse run rampant, but when you only have one sentence each you do what you have to do.

* * *

#1 Ring

Tara swallows the lump in her throat and pushes down the rising bitterness as she looks at her left hand that wouldn't still be bare if she hadn't left all those years ago.

#2 Hero

With each brush of his lips and caress of his hands she hears _you're safe, you're safe, you're safe_.

#3 Memory

Her arms are wrapped tightly around him as the bike winds through Charming, and she tries to lose herself in a past where she was a girlfriend on the back of a bike and not a woman running from a mistake.

#4 Box

Tara can't figure out what label to put on her role in Jax's life these days and sometimes the word _mistress_ lingers a little too long in the back of her mind.

#5 Run

_I'm not, I'm not _she thinks of Jax's accusations that she's running, but Tara knows there's a chance that it's probably going to hurt too much if she stays.

#6 Hurricane

She went to work everyday, grocery shopped on Sundays, and all it took was one look at Jax striding purposefully down the hospital corridor and her carefully built walls crumbled down around her.

#7 Wings

_Yeah Gemma,_ Tara thinks as she stares at the image that sometimes feels burned into her skin in the locker room mirror, _some things don't change._

#8 Cold

She likes the coolness of the wood against her palms as she lowers herself to sit on the floor because Jax is gone and in this too familiar room all Tara wants to feel is something new.

#9 Red

Sometimes when she looks down at her hands, instead of seeing pale, creamy flesh all Tara can see is red, red blood and she knows that Jax was wrong when he said that she didn't.

#10 Drink

She went to a few parties in college, but the frats had nothing on nights at the Club and as she takes another pull from her beer it annoys her to think of how well Wendy must have fit in here and how much Tara isn't sure she wants to.

#11 Midnight

The fourth time she starts to trace the J-o-h-n on his arm, Jax wakes and pulls her underneath him and uses his body to chase away the doubts and fears that won't let her sleep.

#12 Temptation

Looking down at the blood he left behind on her scrubs isn't enough to completely bury the desire Tara has to follow him and help him wash away the rest.

#13 View

Opening the bathroom door all Tara can do for a moment is stare at him lying there in bed with his shirt off waiting for her, and she has no idea how she stayed away for so long.

#14 Music

"_Can't get used to losing you"_… it isn't until Jax is lying still beside her that it registers, and he doesn't stop her when she gets up and throws it, speakers and all, against the wall.

#15 Silk

Tara has nice, pretty things to sleep in, but she kept his t-shirt because nothing feels better against her skin when he isn't.

#16 Cover

He's on top of her, all-around her, and inside of her and she swears that he's the only thing keeping her together when she comes undone.

#17 Promise

Maybe it's wrong to kiss him here, but when Jax says, "Yeah," it feels like an answer, an ending, and a beginning.

#18 Dream

Some nights she stays late to feed Abel and sitting in the rocker, the noise of the hospital fades away and it always takes a minute to ground herself back into a reality where Abel isn't hers… and neither is Jax.

#19 Candle

He was always a small flicker of a flame in her heart when she was gone, but ever since she's been back it's turned into a slow burn and as it grows and grows Tara doesn't know if she's going to be able to deal when it gets put out.

#20 Talent

Staring at Abel, Tara watches the tiny chest that she helped make sure would continue to rise and fall and thinks that at least all her years away were good for something.

#21 Silence

Tara watches the front door close behind him and as she stares down at the newly exposed wood floor and clean white walls she wants to run after him and beg him not to leave her alone because sometimes the silence is just too loud.

#22 Journey

Everything was vocal and loud when they were 17, but now at almost 30 _I missed you _is his arms squeezing around her middle, _I need you_ is his forehead resting against hers, and _please stay _is his lips on her shoulder, the inside of her wrist, the top of her foot, her ankle, the back of her knee, and the ink on the small of her back.

#23 Fire

Lying alone in her bed Tara wonders if she would finally feel cleansed and absolved if it all just went up in flames.

#24 Strength

It's a ridiculous comparison, but if Jax can put a bullet in a man's brain for her than Tara can take one out of an Irishman laid out on a pool table for him.

#25 Mask

When she tells him she's leaving, she sees the second he covers up his hurt with anger and she's glad for the bruising force behind his kiss because it seems like all she ever does is cause him pain.

#26 Ice

Gemma might be an over-bearing bitch, but she's an over-bearing bitch that's right, and that knowledge makes Tara's blood freeze because she knows that she has to let Jax go.

#27 Fall

_She's the mother of his child_ Tara thinks as she slides to the floor, and the tears start to come as she realizes that tonight Jax has made a choice and it wasn't her.

#28 Forgotten

He's a father, a husband, and more a part of SAMCRO than he was eleven years ago, but it all slips away and he's just hers, hers, hers when he pushes her up against the bedroom door, her hands gripping his shoulders, and her legs locked tight around his waist.

#29 Dance

Jax is leaning over her, and his hand is sliding his t-shirt up and off of her, and Tara instantly remembers these familiar moves and thinks that maybe this time she can teach him a step or two.

#30 Body

She brushes her hand against the wound on his thigh and it aches knowing that he will have another scar on his body because of her to go along with the ones she already put on his heart.

#31 Sacred

It's like a knife to the heart when she sees the tattoo on Wendy's arm, but Tara knows she's the one that walked away… _so why does it still feel like betrayal?_

#32 Farewells

Tara can hardly admit it to herself as she sits in the hospital waiting room telling Jax she's going back to Chicago that really she's just begging him to give her a reason to stay.

#33 World

She feels 17 again when everything was Jax, Jax, Jax, and Tara isn't sure if she's strong enough to stop it from happening again… or if she even wants to.

#34 Formal

"Doc," Jax says, and Tara remembers when she was _baby, honey, beautiful, _and her name came out whispered against her skin in gasps and moans.

#35 Fever

It wouldn't work if he was some clean-cut doctor or businessman because it's the calluses on his palms, the smell of gasoline, and the feel of his shaggy blonde hair against her skin that creates the heat that settles low in her belly.

#36 Laugh

A nervous giggle escapes her lips watching Jax swagger down the hall to her and it's hard for even Tara to believe that the blonde-haired, blue-eyed biker boy once belonged to this quiet, all too serious doctor.

#37 Lies

_Do you love me?_ Jax asked, and Tara knows that the answer is as heartbreakingly simple as the question.

#38 Forever

If they ever say those vows, Tara isn't sure she will be able to choke out the words _til death do us part, _because in this life there's a good chance his will come long before hers and Tara knows there will never be another.

#39 Overwhelmed

There's a baby in the hospital, a wife in rehab, and a body in the desert, and when Jax's arms come around her it's almost one more thing that Tara just doesn't know how to handle.

#40 Whisper

_Wendy, Wendy, Wendy _is in the back of her mind and almost as if he knows, she hears "_Tara_" whispered against her ear right before his tongue slides along her collarbone and his fingers trace down her stomach, and after that it's just touch and feel.

#41 Wait

Tara has no idea what she is waiting for sitting here with Wendy and Gemma because if Jax walks through that door, Tara has no illusions that he's going to come to her.

#42 Talk

Charming isn't that big of a town and Tara tried not to listen to the rumors and gossip surrounding her return… especially the one that said _she came back for a married man._

#43 Search

Tara will never be able to admit it out loud, but the answer she was always looking for was Josh dead, and somewhere deep down she always knew that Jax would be the one holding the gun.

#44 Hope

Her hope and innocence has been slowly seeping away since her mother died when she was 11, and the bullet to the head from the gun she put in Jax's hands took what was left.

#45 Eclipse

Right and wrong, past and present, it's all twisted and tangled in her mind now and it gets worse with every smile, kiss, and touch.

#46 Gravity

She managed without him for over ten years, but Tara knows that she needs him now to catch her when she falls or she's going to hit the floor.

#47 Highway

The roads wind and curve, twist and turn leading into Charming, and Tara can't help but think how fitting that is.

#48 Unknown

Something stirs in Tara as she hands him his son to hold for the first time and as she stares at the blue bundle in Jax's arms, Tara immediately silences the thought in the back of her mind that asks, _why aren't they mine?_

#49 Lock

_This is his life,_ she thinks as she spots him striding down the cemetery lane and when she places the cut on his shoulders and his eyes fix onto hers she knows, _it's ours. _

#50 Breathe

It was an innocent kiss on the cheek and she knows that he didn't think anything of it when he placed his hand at her waist and brushed his lips against her skin, but Tara's heart is pounding and her breath is stolen and it isn't until this simple moment that Tara knows she came back for him.


End file.
